I want a Sheltie or an Alaskan Klee Kai

Been a long time. What is new?

Finished my first year of college. My GPA is around 8.35 / 9.0 right now. I've finally figured out what I want to do, and the path I want to take to get there. I can hopefully get into the UVic Graduate program for Clincal Psychology. They take you all the way from the end of  your Bachelor's to PhD, so when you finish the program you've got your M.Sc. and PhD. After I get that I want to open a private therapy practice. I hope I can keep my grades high enough.

Since my last post I've gotten a couple tattoos. I've got my chinese name on my left forearm and I've Tyrael across my back. I want to get a Paladin and something else on my back. I guess I'll explain what my back will represent. Tyrael represents justice since he is the Archangel of Justice. He went against the will of the rest of heaven and saved Santuarary (earth) from destruction. He did what he thought was right. The Paladin is the ultimate reprsentation of honour and altruism. They do what they think is right at all time and do anything to protect the innocent and weak, even sacrificing themselves. Those are all values I hold very dear. I'm trying to find another character that goes along with that theme to add to the final spot to my back. The side of my arms I'm getting the Clam, with Get the Clam written above and Gull written below. On my right arm I'm getting a very dear friend to draw a coat of arms and I'll get that on my side.

Sometimes get really down... think I'm wasting my time and that I am pretty worthless. You know... I want to help people but people are self-destructive. They try to destroy themselves and do things they know are terrible with reckless disregard for themselves or anyone else. That really gets me depressed... but you know. It's what I want to do... what I was born to do. To help people, fuck, I can't save everyone. I just hope that I have the ability to save a few.

All the progress. All the growing. Everything. I sometimes wonder, have I changed at all? I did something I haven't done in a very long time. I let my anger stew and grow until it exploded outwards. Extroverted anger is dangerous. Am I becoming him? Was I always?

In my few meager years of writing experience I have learned one thing: whether it be a novel, a poem, a essay or lab report the hardest part is always getting started. Once you start writing and get the creative juices flowing it will flow forth as if from behind a dam that is writer's block. I can spend hours staring at a blank computer screen wondering where to begin, and yet once I get going it comes easily and I write what I need to write in a few minutes.

I totally forgot about the name Katherine Carnes! I am so happy. I'll have to finish the 2nd chapter of BLaS soon, and start working on Phoenix Reborn again since my muse has returned to me. Ahhh sweet WoW, where would I be without you? Probably a lot better off... :P

School school school. Why do I loathe thee? It's going alright thus far. I feel my studiousness wain from the early days when I was naive and confident of my ability to read hours upon hours every night. I got an A on every midterm, expect English (essays). Which is upsetting, because I love to write. Writing to please an academic opinion is hit and miss and I am forcing myself to be happy that I am passing my courses with relative ease. I have about 60 pages of Psychology, 20 of which I am behind on and 40 of which need to be read, transcribed and memorized by Wednesday. Good luck. I hope I am retaining all of this knowledge.

Started playing WoW again. Won't go into too much detail. Having fun, need to control it though. I find myself playing when I should be studying. Again, nostalgic. It will never be like it was. I miss Razor, and Pessari, the entirety of RCW, Jhlin and the friends from BC GTC. I miss knowing what the do, and being skilled and well respected and known. I miss familiarity and being informed and being on the cutting edge. A higher eschelon of player. But it's just a game.

I want to start writing my novels again. I gotta stop being a perfectionist. Novelists get better as they write more. I can't expect the first two to be perfect. Cornwell said of Sharpe's Eagle that it was "crude" and he doesn't even want to look at it. That's how I feel about everything I've written. I need to hone and perfect my art via practise. I need to stop rewriting and just write.

Through my clowning and general boorish behaviour at work, I have come up with a name that I am utterly enamoured with. Katie Carnes. Lieutenant Katherine Carnes shall be the female half of the Battle-Mage Investigational Division. The senior detective on Ravid's case. I am actually very happy I found a name. Since names are my bane.

Finished another one of the novels in the "Sharpe's series". I'm glad there are like 20 of them, because I'm plowing through them. I probably should be reading my text books before, but fuck it. I need a little of a recreation ya know?

If anyone saw how many notes and shit I've taken they'd be disgusted. It's horrible. It's like 3 weeks in and I've gone through two pens already. Two fucking pens. From taking so many notes. My little class binders are getting full. I should probably concoct a more efficient way of doing it. And maybe devise some sort of short hand. Like, really short hand.

Skipped the gym today... next week. I really just want to maintain. Maybe 2-3 days a week. Maybe I'll go Friday and Saturday or something. I could use the school gym maybe...

Missed two Kung Fu classes last week. Both of the 730 ones. Because I fucking fell asleep. I need to get over this sleeping problem. Like, the one where I pass out around late afternoon. It fucks my sleep pattern so bad because I can't fall asleep until late, tired the next day. And then have to take a nap because of being so tired. Damn vicious cycles I tells ya.

I want to start writing again. Reading gets my passion back into it. Seeing the other author's great labours of love and how brilliant and vivid the pictures these artists paint in my mind. I want do that for others. If I find the time.

I have to write a descriptive or narrative essay. I'll do one on my car, and it'll be fucking amazing. I'll describe it as though I am a some sorta smitten bloke pennin' about his lovely lass. Being British would be bad ass.

It's been quite awhile since I've done this. Maybe I'll start doing it again so I can brush up on my writing, or, you know, inform people about my incredibly interesting life. Yeah!

School started... what... three weeks ago? Thus far, it's easy in terms of content, but the workload is huge. Perhaps it's the way I'm approaching the problem. Doing more than I need to do in order to gain a moderate level of success. Whenever I read, I take a ton of notes. The homework is mostly reading at the moment, but that means a lot of notes. A lot of notes. Last chapter for psych 110 I took 1 page of notes for every 2 pages I read. It took 4 hours to read a 20 page chapter. Yeah. It could be excessive, but as long as I can keep it up I'll keep doing it. Mostly in order to ingrain my study abilities in my head. I need to get study habits down. I think the year off did me good. Since at the end of High School I had ZERO studying ability. And now I have some. That year off must have cleansed my slate, Tabula rasa.

I'm taking 5 courses at the moment. Biology 100 (non Majors), Psych 110 (Experimental Psych), Psych 120 (Interpersonal Development), Philosophy 100 (Into to), and English 150 (essay writing). Bio flies back and forth between dry and interesting. I worry that I'm not absorbing the MASSIVE amount of knowledge that Biology requires. The mid term is soon, so we'll see. Psych 110 and 120 are very interesting, but the readings still take awhile because texts are still dry. I find the content still very intriguing, so I still feel that I've got a good goal in mind. I'm also applying what I'm learning to my life. So that's always good. Philosophy is boring but also intellectually stimulating, when I stay awake. The logical side of my often says "this is retarded" but on the rare occasion I can by pass that, it's very stimulating, as I said.

I'm taking Kung Fu still, 4 times a week. Although this week I feel asleep at the exact time I needed to leave for the Tuesday and Thursday class. Really disappointed in myself. I really need to figure out why I'm so tired. Staying up late? Lack of Breakfast? I'll try to correct both. Because falling asleep in class is dumb, as is HAVING to take a nap at 6 PM because I'm falling asleep in my chair.

Working the weekends right now. I'm making a little more money than expected, hopefully I can still afford my stuff. Car, Cellphone, Food. and any other delicious hedonistic urge that sparks my interest.

College isn't the little social network that I was expecting. But then again, if I look at my own behaviour it makes sense. Everyone is there to learn, not to make friends. I'm like that too, I don't talk during class and rapidly take notes. The labs offer a bit more freedom. But I am impressed at everyone's stoic attitude to it all. However, this makes campus somewhat lonely at times...

I'm so busy right now. I wonder when the pressure will crack me. Typical day is like this. School -> home for 2 hours -> Kung Fu -> Homework -> Sleep. No time to do anything. Those two hours are usually a nap since I stay up until 12-1 doing homework and have no energy after school. I'm usually mentally exhausted most of the time. Bleh.  Kung Fu is my only escape, but I'm starting to dread it because I am just do drained when I go to it. But, once I'm there it's great.

I am eating like shit now. Not eating enough, and eating too much shit. Parents are out of town for 2 weeks, and I guess I'm just a lazy fuck. Too lazy to cook anything decent, that's for sure. Maybe tomorrow I'll try my hand at actually producing some food.

I am considering joinging the Psychology Club. I'll need to check my class schedule and see if it fits. I want to see what else College has to offer me. But yet, I can't help feeling somewhat uneasy about it. Awkward.

I really miss work. I miss all the people, the laughs, the fun. I barely see the people I care about, and laughter hardly happens anymore. This sounds more depressed than I am. I've taken a stoic (I MUST DO THIS) approach.

Well... I've got 2 chapters to read. But I'll probably put it off until tomorrow since it's the weekend and indulge my creative with some of Bernard Cromwell's delicous morsuls.

Take note, perchance you are not I, and you are reading this. That this is but a medium for myself to communicate to myself. For that when my intellectual self recedes and my emotional self once again reigns supreme over my being so I can look back and try to recall the twisted inner workings of what certainly must be my ongoing insanity.

Tonight I once again took it upon myself to try and "help" another "wayward" soul. Perhaps save them from their consistent path of self destruction and to stop them from them from, by force of nature, pass that destruction on to another. My life's goal, isn't it, to be the savior, the voice of reason, the one who will be the martyred one, who will say what is right despite opposition and persecution. And in my goal I found myself bending, as I find I always do, when I took upon myself another's point of view, and found it superior to my own. Then I realized as I thought I skillfully weaved and poked holes in another's logic: I am an asshole.

I knew I always acted as one, and perhaps I would masquerade as one on a deeper level. However, I'd always maintain that deep down I was one of good. I was a good person. It is not an easy thing to have your views so easily torn to shreds, to see your beliefs eviscerated before your eyes. And yet they were. I always thought of myself as an open person, willing to listen and accept, and also to "walk in another's shoes" to adapt to their beliefs and objectively compare and contrast. I see now that that line of though was just intellectual stroking of my ego. My telling myself that I was so smart and high and mighty that I could come down from my non-existent high horse and see the layman's views. I see now that that was not true at all.

I entered this argument thinking... no knowing... believing I knew that I was right. Correct. That my view was the only true one. As I saw errors and contradictions in the other's views I realized... I was contradicting myself. There were holes in my logic so wide that you could fly even my enormous ego through.

That by attempting to change other's views and beliefs, even if it is to "improve" and "help" them, I am being what I always claimed to hate. Ignorant, or ignorance. I am ignorant. I believe that my views are pure and true, and that those that disagree are some how wrong and below me. That by trying to be this all understanding all fixing all righteous person, I was being ignorant. Establishments that try to be any extreme always end up becoming what they strive not to be. Look at the Nazi's, trying to improve the human race. Becoming monsters. Look at the Churchs, preaching love and peace yet condemning those that disagree and sparking death and conflict and hate. Look at my, trying to help and be tolerant... yet causing strive and being intolerant.

I saw that, my views of right and wrong, are just that. They are views. They are my opinions. An opinion is an opinion, it is not a fact, it is not a truth. By trying to force my views upon others, I am trying to change them, and that in itself is wrong. You are who you are. You should change on your own, you should evolve by your own means.

I was outsmarted by someone viewed by many as "stupid", and for that my respect has been greatly raised. As I heard the response to my ultimatum I realized... I had just given an ultimatum. I was about to discard friendship over a small issue. I swore I would never do what had been done to me, and yet, there I was about to do it. It shattered me. I realized now... how many people had I done this to? Simply discarded like playthings. Not people, toys. I was... an asshole. An intolerant egotistical asshole. One who reaches for the strength to chance rather than the strength to listen could not be much more than such, even with good intentions.

However, once accepted, it makes it a lot easier. By trying to help people, you are attempting to change them. Trying to change someone because you think that they are not proper or correct is indeed wrong. Being an asshole would make it much easier to attempt to help people. Being vile enough to convince people to discard their beliefs and accept mine, and through said despicable actions should they become happy and healthy, is refreshing. I can now accept that I am a bad person, but through unscrupulous actions I will indeed "help" people. But does the ends justify the means? No, it rarely does. But then again... I am an asshole.

No... well. To a degree. Yin and Yang. There is no absolute. There is a little darkness in even the brightest of lights, and there is a little light in even the most darkest of darks. Of course there will be darkness in my bright intentions, because of the nature of the universe there must be. Everyone is an asshole... everyone is a nice guy. It is to the degree on the spectrum on which they lie that determines their overall classification. And I hope, that I am a nice guy.

Hurray! I got the car. Ivory/Bone white 1978 BMW 320i. Sexy little devil, custom body work and custom inside. By custom I mean like ghettoed out. It's fucking sweet. Rear bench seats taken out and two fucking massive 12" subs in huge enclosures. Then a racing seat welded in the middle. My head had to be sideways to fit, Zoë was like an inch from the roof. So basically it's a two seater :P. 4 speed, fun little car. It's so like, vintage inside. All the knobs and big purple buttons and switches. Everything works too. There is a big blue toggle switch, and that turns on the stereo as well as these blacklights. He's got $100 super bright whites in the headlights. A big dual magnaflow exhaust. Nice little beater, eh?

Now for the fun story. Well, at first we couldn't get it to start, he said it had been sitting for 9 months. Little bits of rust all over and some paint chipping on the back. A lot of the little knobs fell off their switches, but they just popped back on. Probably gonna Krazy Glue them. There is a rip in the driver's seat, Frank said an easy fix for Beamers since the seats are in panels. And by easy he meant sub 100 dollars. Moss everywhere, but that's just due to lack of running. I washed it today. There is also a bunch of spray foam in the back, used to seal the speaker boxes. It's quite hideous. Might fix that. Back is not carpeted, neither is the trunk. Might fix it, it is like a little beater after all, can't make it too nice. Anyway, back to the story.

Car wouldn't start, pulls out his handy battery jump charger. Out of juice. Goes to the mall to buy jumper cables. Mall doesn't have any. Goes to Canadian tire to get some. Start the car. Jumping it blew fuses. Jam a paper clip into amp to hear it. Test drive, it works very well. I then realize there are no side mirrors, and no power steering. My little jaws of death <3. Anyway. Drive it around and wash it. On the way home, blow a fuse. Now the Tachometer (tells your RPM) and the Fuel Capacity gauge don't work. What ever, just a blown fuse, fix later. Drive to Frank's. Drive home, just getting my confidence back, not stalling and most shifts ok. (I stalled more than 8 times at a light on the way to Boston Pizza ><). Start heading to work, a cop walks in the middle of the street and I have to slam on the brakes to stop. I start going again, and a little up the street I realize, my accelerator isn't working. Odd, but maybe I stalled, I can't see my RPM. Stop. Try to start, and stall. Try to start and stall. Stall many times. Think, "maybe I'm not stalling, maybe it's that thing." Get out of car to check on thing in hood. Some guy on the sidewalk yells "Hey, you're leaking fuel all over the road." I go 'round back and check, and sure enough there is a massive puddle of gas and a long trail behind my car. "Fuck."

Call mom. Call BCAA. They say they won't send a tow truck until I call the non-emergency number for the fire department. Get angry with lady at BCAA. Some random (and very nice) guy comes and and offers to help me push car. I hang up on dumb BCAA lady and accept. Push car into parking lot. Thank guy. Fire department shows up (that was fast). Ask me what happened. Fire trunk blocks lanes. They start throwing sand down. If I could have laughed, I would have because it reminds me of me at work using spill magic. Alex and Lance drive by and wave at me. Fire department leaves. Mom gets there and so does tow truck. Get it towed home, mom drives me to work. Be angry for awhile. Paul phones and says he's got it on jacks, and its not the fuel pump (as a fireman suggested) but is probably a fuel line/hose. Says its like a super cheap fix. I am elated. Frank phoned the guy, who said he felt bad and would swing by tomorrow morning, diagnose the problem and fix it for free (labour-wise, I'd buy the parts.).

So... all is well, hopefully. As long as I can drive it. My confidence is somewhat shattered. Meh, it's still super sexy with a crank sunroof :P.

Fuck, not again.

Crashed my car into a tree tonight. Speeding, took a corner too fast, hit a tree. Knocked off my bumper and damaged mostly driver side, from what I saw, no internal engine damage. No fluid leaks. Only my air intake got fucked, besides all the cosmetic body damage. Probably hit the tree going about 40 km/h. Noone was hurt, that's a very good thing.

So preventable. So many what if's. If I turned faster just would took the corner easy. If I braked harder, wouldn't have gone that far, just on the curb a little. If the tree wasn't there, just would rolled into the grass. If I hadn't decided to see the movie. Oh gee, if I wasn't a complete retard and speeding.

My insurance skyrockets, but the car gets fixed. I don't really care about the money, money comes and goes. I'm just... so disappointed. In myself. My life, fuck my life, what ever. I endangered my friend's life. I drove like an asshole and but my friend in jeopardy. What if, what if the tree wasn't there? What if I plowed into the guy's house? Killed him, sleeping on his sofa. What if we rolled over? What if someone was out on the lawn? What if a car was there? I could've killed people. I thought I was better than that. I thought I could be mature. Haven't I learned anything? Apparently not. When the car gets back, no more fucking around. No more mods, why bother? Oh it's loud, now I'll be tempted to speed. Oh it's flashy, tempted to show off. Fuck it, I don't deserve that. I took this extremely generous gift from my parents and, just fucked it up.

Sunday is always surreal, and today was no different. The day always flies by, maybe because I run an 8'er on less than three hours of sleep. Maybe because I'm super hyper and burn way too much energy, especially since I'm never hungry when I get up that early and don't eat. What ever the reason, the day went by in a blink, and I really can't remember doing anything. I was dead on the drive home, and as soon as I pulled up on my E brake in front of my house I fell asleep in the car. I don't know how long, but then I stumbled into the house, showered, and then passed out on my bed. I think I slept for a good eight hours, I remember my mom bringing me dinner, and me eating it lying down and falling asleep again. God I'm lazy.

Alex said I was being mean today. That actually really hits home with me, I've noticed myself becoming more taunting and teasing and jerkish lately. To be frank, I really don't want to be that way. It just comes out. I guess I need to engage the old PFC a little more, and start trying to be the nice guy again. I miss that guy. Took one too many chest-stabs, I guess.

I need to start laying the ground work for the union scholarship essay. I really don't even care about the money, I care about the deadline and the challenge and the writing. I need to get back into a studious mindset. I haven't been in one since grade eight. I need to start working on projects early, not a rush last minute job. And, most importantly, start writing again. My novels have been collecting dust, and I want to finish them before I die. At the rate I'm going, less than 6 chapters in 3 years... I might need to pick up the pace for that to happen.

My anonymous blog of exploits failed, I don't update regularly enough. I think I'll delete it.

I read again for the first time in awhile. I miss reading. I don't do it enough, seriously. I miss that feeling of getting attached to the characters, good old KOTOR comics, had about six of them built up. It's on odd feeling, caring about a fictional character. I should dust off my old Gaunt's Ghost Omnibus, I only got few chapters into Straight Silver, but the 1500 page and double dimensions mountain of a book is so unwieldy.

Sick of the pest, now I can rest. Thanks to my best friend who saved the day.
Another wasted day. It's 1:30 and I'm not tired, but I have to be at work at 8:30 tomorrow. Bleh.

Not much is new lately. Been keeping up the gym schedule, but I think I'm beginning to plateau. I want to start doing some more cardio and increase my stamina, but I am lazy, and enjoy to eat a lot of junk.

Oh, yeah, UFCW 1518 is giving away a bunch of scholarships to any union member who has been in the union since Jan '07. All you gotta do is fill out some form and write a 1,500 ish word essay.

http://www.ufcw.org/scholarship/app08/application.asp

You can apply for it even if you're currently attending University or College, so this should interest some people :P

I want to get a new phone. Maybe a Blackberry or something. I want a phone that can access wifi but I don't think there are any right now that can do that, besides iPhones, and those are super expensive. I need to figure out how much of a credit I have on my roger's account.

I need to start my novels again, but when I read what I've got, I'm not satisfied with the quality of them at all. I've been getting into the urge to write, hopefully doing the essay for the scholarship will reignite the passion... or something.

Sent Pulyx a note basically asking if he was going to do this tattoo for me or not, since he stopped replying to my emails months ago. I guess I'll have to find a new artist, I want to get this done soon. Bleh.

I've been getting into the mood to start writing again. I've even opened up both of my novels and played around with the grammar, changed a few things. Fixed some errors. But when actually try and record my thoughts, I just can't organize them into something comprehensible. I'm far gone, totally out of practice. I promised I'd start again when I go back to school, hopefully banging out some essays will get me back in tip top writing shape. Hopefully.

I've got... too much on my mind lately. Stuff is bothering me that I have no control over. I just need to take a step back and relax, follow my own advice. I need to just look at it without the emotion and do what is best... for everyone. I also need to start budgeting myself. I'm spending way too much money at Safeway every day that I work. It's really dumb, considering I make so little in the first place. I've been having doubts about my future career choice, and that would radically alter my schooling. Becoming a pharmacist is rapidly becoming a very attractive option. I guess we'll see what happens.

I saw a shirt I really wanted the other day. I showed some self-restraint for once and didn't buy it. I regret that decision. I'll wait till I have money, however, before I go back and pick it up.

A kid from Cedar Hill school was in the store. I'm not really sure what she was talking about, but she used the word "beneficial". And then it hit me, I hadn't used that word in forever. Infact, my vocabulary seems to be very quickly shrinking. I swear I'm becoming dumber. I need to stimulate my brain in some way to keep it functioning the way I need it to function to properly absorb information when I finally go back to school.

I've been making a lot of bad decisions lately, and handling situations a lot worse than they could have been handled. I need to man it up and just do shit correctly, the first time, every time once again. I'll get on that sometime.

I'm very disappointed with myself. I only went to the gym one time last week. Not again. Today was one of four for me this week, and I'm going to keep to my schedule this week. I've kept it up thus far, one moment of weakness won't stop me.

I sent another PM to pulyx today. I've decided, I WANT that tattoo for sure, and I need it now more than ever.

I got a flat tire! ARG!! Gotta get up early and get that shit fixed tomorrow. Also, staff party yeah!!!

I jived and swung all over that shit.

ugh. Ok so, Sunday I go to work for my usual 6:30 shift, and I'm having a good day. Probably because I got no sleep and woke up at around 5. Anyway, midway through the day I eat my favourite lunch of a Rustic Sicilian Pesto Sandwich and Potato soup. Shortly after I get diarrhea. I ignore it and keep working. Then I get it again, and again. So I left two hours early. I don't eat anything and take tons of Imodium and am rewarded with a massive stomach ache. I take the next day off and just try to sleep it off. I don't eat anything. Today I go to work and everything seems fine. Then I eat a sandwich and I get it again. Also, my lower left eye lid is pink and slightly swollen. See, I think I either have an infection or food poisoning because the aches and runs seem to happen immediately after eating. Three times it happened that way. Also, I just dropped my sterile antibiotic eye drops in the toilet, and my stomach hurts. Fuck.

Lately I've been looking back at things that I've done. You know, a lot of people have been saying "What happened to shy innocent Nic?" That being the polite version of the comment. And to be honest, I didn't notice that anything had happened until recently. What did happen to him? Nothing, he's still here, just innocence sometimes gets pushed aside with the harsh realities of the world. However, I guess to myself I pledge to stop being such a chauvinistic jerk. Also, although I like to be the type of person who speaks their mind, sometimes it's just inappropriate.

I know I say this a lot, but I really need to buckle down and get my application in Camosun. I really dislike change, and I really don't want to go back to school, but in the long run I know going to school will pay off. Before February, I'll do it before February. Promise.

The gym is going good, a steady weekly quartet. I just have to stop eating so much garbage. Today I had this big Dairy Queen sundae and an entire large pizza for dinner. So gross, yet so delicious.

I'm very excited for the Staff Party this year. Should be a blast =D

Well it's New Year's. Any resolutions? Nope, not from me. I honestly will try to do something when I feel like it, when I need change. I think I set realistic goals and follow them.

Christmas was good. I went over to my Aunt's house as per tradition. Great dinner. Good conversation. Actually I can't remember if it was Christmas or Christmas eve. The 23rd I went to a little party, it was fun. Apparently I'm bad with strangers, but I had fun once people from Safeway decided to show up. I got 90% money or gift cards for Christmas. The only other things I got are a nice point zero button up, and a 2 t-shirts. Actually, I also got a tire gauge and cologne pack thing. I'm liking Jean-Paul but I'll give the others a shot.

I had a good time one New Year's. Went to the Keg with the family (where apparently a cute girl in a very low cut dress kept looking at me :P) Had a good dinner. Not really a steak fan, had the chicken fajitas. They were delicious. Afterwards I went and hung out with Miranda and just watched TV and the countdown. Then I went back to the families and did a little Wii and Karaoke. I had fun, despite how boring I'm sure it sounds. It's the people you spend it with that counts, not what you do or lack thereof.

Third time playing poker for cash tonight. I think I'm getting better. I was in the final two. I had to borrow a table and chairs from my Uncle, and I scraped the inside of my doors trying to fit the table in... hopefully that comes off. I'll try and clean it tomorrow.

Two things I keep saying but don't do. Work on novels and apply for college. The former being more important, of course. I'm getting new ideas and plotting the plot and characters in my head. I just need to sit down and write them. blah.

I totally suck at Guitar Hero now, but in terms of my video gaming... game time... I'm seriously kick ass as a Spy now. Hardest Class to play bitches. There is something just so satisfying when you fool the enemy, like really try them to believing you're on their side, like they attack other spies and just kinda ignore you. Then you violently stab them in the back as your spy quips "My apologies." and run away.

I ordered those things from the Valve store on the 14th, and they still are not here. They just left the warehouse on the 31st according the email I got. I was somewhat... pertubed that it had just left the fucking warehouse 2 weeks later. The Fedex site said it'd be here at approximately 5 PM today. I checked again and they removed the approximation. Hilarious. Hopefully it comes tomorrow.

I'm broke and I owe 478 on the next Visa bill. I also spent 128 on a new gym pass, A 3 month Saanich pass. Now I have a monetary reason to go the gym 4 times a week now :P. I went today, and I'll go tomorrow. One day at a time. That's the way we gotta take life.

Well. I managed to stay out too late on the night before I have to get up at 5 AM. I did however, get decent at guitar hero again. I was so terrible. Just so goddamned terrible. I could barely play the game on medium. I can almost play on hard now. I 3 stared Paint it Black on hard. Also, I managed to get 96% on Through the Fire and Flames on med, only to choke at the point and fail =(. Ah well.. now I just have to practise with my sad will computer version till I rock.

I'm seriously obsessed with TF2 now. There is nothing more satisfying and running around the enemy base as a spy, and have people think you're on their side and then stabbing them in the back... it warms a part of me that shouldn't be so warm.

I spent about 200 bucks at the valve store. But I got a 6x6x6 Companion Cube before they sold out in like 22 hours =D.

I only went to the gym two times this week. I gotta keep that shit up. 4 times next week.

No progress on novels... I need time to just write. Haven't applied for school yet. Gotta work on these two things.